Getting in from the airport, you getting in from the study group
The only thing missing at this point
Is bona fide chillin time with you
I can’t stand the times when I’m alone at night
And I feel your side of the bed and it’s cold
Wide awake, I don’t know the time
Cause I’m too busy texting you on my phone
I want you girl, I need your body right here
Won’t you teleport to me?
You call out to me through the light
I know you must be close
The moment when I realize it’s all in my mind
The moment I hate the most
Somebody help me out, does anyone care?
Can anyone hear me? Is there anyone there?
I’m over the loneliness and I can’t close my eyes
Without you by my side
I have lost the will to live
I really feel like killing myself..I have been looking up ways to do it and different thing about doing it. My life is hell. Every moment I get yelled at. Called a loser called retarded being told I’m useless and I’m a joke.7 months ago a good friend killed himself and it’s been hard to breath ever scine. I test my limits with drugs and alcohol with this overwhelming contemplation. 18 years old never had a real boyfriend never been in a date . Feel like I’ll never find love. Don’t have that many goof friends. I did horribly in school. Had brain surgery 2 years ago and to stop school for months and start homeschooling. Lost the skills to do math. Hard Time reading. Still can’t write. Have trouble talking and walking. Just not the same. Which holds be back. Struggle everyday which cuts my heart deeper. I am ugly, I just plain hate myself. Why the hell should I live. I see no future. No future happiness. What could I possibly do for work disabled. What could I possibly become. Whos gone ever love me. Who would notice if I was gone even. Like I could just on and on with my bullshit that I’ve been dealing with. I keep thinking about this. I wanna be talked out of it.
"It’s better to burn out than to fade away"
"No one knows my struggle, they only see the trouble, not knowing it’s hard to carry on when no one loves you "